Ask Kate Question of the week: Can I test with out the Mom knowing?

Can I test the child without the mother knowing?

Identigene requires a legal guardian to sign for each child in the paternity test.  Usually, this is someone (father or mother) listed on the child’s birth certificate, but it could also be a grandparent or other caregiver who is the child’s legal guardian.

This means that a potential father who does NOT have legal custody of a child must get permission from the mother (or other legal guardian) before we can begin the paternity test.

Why?

Paternity questions can be difficult and embarrassing to ask; that’s because they often go hand in hand with questions of fidelity or faithfulness. No one likes to be called unfaithful, and most don’t like to accuse.  There are many reasons a man may want to test a child without talking to the child’s mother first, but those looking into paternity testing know how big of an impact the answer they receive will have on their life – and a child’s legal guardian, father, mother, or other caregiver, should have a say in that decision.

We know that paternity test answers can be life changing ones, whatever the result. On the phone every day, we provide answers to mothers and potential fathers; some that they expect, some unexpected.  Each result impacts the lives of children being tested.  That’s why we often have to tell potential fathers they will need to talk to the mother and get her permission.  Even when a father shares custody with the mother, we still recommend involving the mother in the test; she can be included for free and her participation strengthens paternity test results while helping everyone involved make the best decision for the child.

“Honey, I want a paternity test.” That’s a tough phrase to utter, and even a difficult one to hear.  But, when it comes to paternity testing, we believe honesty really is the best policy.  And when it comes to testing children, the consent of their legal guardian must come first.

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7 Comments

  1. I split with my ex husband 15 yrs ago, he brought a DNA testing kit from the internet and tested our daughter without my knowledge about 4 yrs ago. I am so upset about this and wondered if it is ill for him to do this.

  2. what can i do to get this matter right a dad took a child unaurthorized took take a dna with out the mother and the child is under age and it handle threw the courts the child was force to get his mouth swab.

    • Dear “Unknown”,
      It sounds like you are dealing with a difficult and complex situation. Of course, I don’t know the details, so it is hard for me to give advice on what you can do. I do know that Identigene clients must agree to Terms and Conditions which state that the person consenting to the DNA paternity test has the legal right to consent for the child. If I understand you correctly, this family is already working within the legal system. I would suggest asking a family attorney about next steps. Here is a link to a family lawyer referral site. http://family-law.lawyers.com/

  3. Pingback: Who’s Your Daddy mobile DNA testing rolls into existence | My Family Blog

  4. I was wondering if there was a way that I can test my step daughter against her father without her mother knowing. they have joint custody of her but nobody in his family thinks that she belongs to him

    • Angelia,
      If your husband is considered the legal biological father and on the birth certificate, he has the right to swab himself and his daughter to confirm paternity.

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