Guest Post by Vicki of  the blog “Just a MINute Mom“

We were a blended family with 6 children, including 3 grown sons when we decided to adopt back in 2006. We found our first precious daughter in China, aged 3 years and brought her home in October 2006. We were totally in love.

In adopting we learned more of the Chinese culture and the difficulties the older orphaned children from China faced. So once again, we decided to add an older girl, our wonderful Chloe, aged 13 ½ years in Feb 2009. We had been blessed to receive grants to complete her adoption as she was our 8^thchild.

Little did I know when I headed to China to bring her home we were about to get a shock of our life. When receiving Chloe I was handed a police report about when she was found. It stated she was found with 2 other children and I knew this was not typical. So I asked, “who are these other children?”

My question was met with silence until our guide asked my new daughter and she said “my brothers.” Well, can you imagine my shock? My mind was racing- what? How? Why were we not told? Where these REALLY her brothers or just boys she was close to and called her brothers? So many questions.

Chloe with one brother (Chance) while still in China Jan 2009

We proceeded on with the adoption requirements for Chloe and gave word to the guide to inquire about the “brothers”, the many questions we had. We learned the boys were both at the orphanage, they were known to be a sibling group at the orphanage but when found, were not reported as siblings, therefore creating a legal difficulty in proving they were siblings now, so many years later.

We did not feel this was right, our daughter was so sweet and willing to come to us, we didn’t begin to understand how. How did she make peace with leaving them? Did the brothers know for her it was the chance for a family, so they accepted losing her forever? Did they look at the pictures we sent her over the months of waiting for her paperwork to be done, of our older grown sons and think we had enough boys, thus didn’t “want “ them?

We left word that we did want both these boys as we came home, being unable to bring them at her adoption time due to immigration laws. I told our new daughter, “we will come back for them, I promise.”

As soon as we were home, we were able to apply for the first brother, having been given information where his adoption file was. We received pre- approval and proceeded with our paperwork to meet requirements, we were again deeply blessed by the generous help of many adoptive families to make the fee requirements. Our concern was the other brother’s adoption. We did not meet the financial requirements and were over the “number of minor children in the home” for bringing both boys home and we had no official proof to claim the sibling bond of these children.

We KNEW these children had to grow up together. As Chloe, by this time was learning English she told us she never believed we really would go back for the boys. We could only imagine what the brothers in China were thinking as well. So as we realized that we needed proof of their relationship, as originally asked for in China, to aid in our quest to get these boys home.

But how? We didn’t have spare funds. I said a prayer and sent off an e-mail. This ended up bringing us to Identigene. We were so thankful when they contacted us with a “please LET us help!” It was just amazing to us, they sent kits, the tests were sent in and when the results came in just DAYS later, a phone call to Marilyn aided my shaking hands to the right page for the results. She “sat” with me, as I cried, could hardly speak, for there in front of me was answer this momma’s heart KNEW would be there. All 3 children- biological siblings. No doubts.

Chloe at home Jan 2010, not so patiently waiting to go get her brothers

Without this wonderful gift from Identigene we would not be able to say that as of today, we are just weeks away, with paperwork cleared for one brother and the other one’s paperwork on the way. These 3 children, who suffered being abandoned in China years ago, only had one another to count on, will be able to grow up together. We will travel to bring them home soon.

Brothers in August 2009 with cake we sent them (bigger brother is Chase, little one is Chance)

They will not go to bed hungry ever again once home and best of all, they all three will have a mom, dad, more siblings and a life filled with LOVE. Cherished as our sons and daughter, siblings forever more within our family.

We can only thank Identigene for the most precious gift anyone could be given, a future for not one, but TWO special orphan boys, now our sons.

“You can’t change the world by adopting an orphan, but for that orphan, you have changed THEIR world. “ Unknown

Today I stumbled upon an article on the Time’s website.  Thought I would pass on the link.  http://www.time.com/time/nation/article/0,8599,1905706,00.html It is amazing to me how far we have come in such a short time.  DNA Testing has become necessary for not only criminal cases, but paternity and child support cases around the globe require a conclusive DNA Paternity Test.

The history of DNA Testing for paternity cases is just as rich, and IDENTIGENE has expanded that history by bringing peace of mind testing to pharmacies near you.  When I started working here in March of 2006 I never would have guessed that we would be in every major pharmacy in such a short time.  What is next?

In the years that I have offered support to DNA Paternity Test clients I have given out hundreds of results.  The reaction to the results can be anywhere on a wide spectrum of emotion.

I have heard cries of joy, eruptions of anger, and absolute silence to both possible results.  People constantly surprise me in their reactions. In these times I work to be as sensitive as possible to how impactful the next words out of my mouth will be for the customer.

At IDENTIGENE we are working to make this process as streamlined, accurate, and reliable as possible.  A long with the science side of things our client support team is always striving to be knowledgeable, understanding, and sensitive.  We hear many people’s stories of what brought them to this moment and where they may go from here.

We are now sponsoring a new website to provide a space for people to share stories of ALL kinds.  We have posted many stories so far of individuals who have dealt with the worries of adoption, those searching for their fathers through impossible odds, and many others.  We would like our customers to feel free to share their stories of DNA testing and how these moments have impacted their lives.

You can find this website at:  www.MyStoryRelated.com.  I hope that you enjoy the stories told there, and that maybe a few of you feel inspired to share a story of your own.

I am sure that by now everyone has heard about the case of Alfie Patten 13 year old father.  His initial interview with The Sun can be found here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6q_bib2j8_w

Days after the story broke additional alleged fathers chimed in that they in fact were the baby’s father.  When I think back to being thirteen I cannot even contemplate this kind of drama in my own life or the lives of my friends.

Although sadly, I do not believe that stories like these are completely uncommon.  Children(minors) are having children all the time.  I work with many customer’ who are parents and are new grandparents at what some may say are youthful ages themselves.  I am not sure if it is a commentary on society or how we are raising our children, but a story like this with all of its publicity may be the catalyst to start a very important conversation.

In other paternity news Luther Campbell of 1980’s 2 Live Crew was arrested in early February for a little over $10, 0000 in unpaid child support.  While the report does not mention it, I am certain DNA Paternity Testing was preformed to ensure he was infact the father of this child. Now, there are many upset mother’s who believe their unpaid child support deserves the same punishment. 

So, why does Campbell’s $10,000 superceed other mother’s claims?  I don’t actually know, but my best guess would be the courts believe Campbell may be able to pay this amount while other fathers may sit in jail indefinately unable to pay the amounts they owe.  Any thoughts on these topics?

Over the years as I have worked as a Customer Support Rep for Identigene, I have met many people and talked to them about their different situations and stories. Each person’s circumstances involving paternity testing and finding who they are related to are different and each person has their own story to tell. For a long time I have wanted to help people to share their stories with others who may be going through a similar situation. And now with our new blog, www.mystoryrelated.com, people will have that chance.

www.mystoryrelated.com is a collection of stories of people finding the connections and relationships that make up the story of who they are. Whether its a story about finding ones biological father, finding the birth mother that gave you up for adoption, or connecting with ancestors that came before, mystoryrelated allows people to read and share the stories that are a big part of their life.

Please take a moment and visit www.mystoryrelated.com and look through some of the stories. Each one is unique and each week we will post a new story.

If you are interested in sharing your story, please do. I am sure there are other like you who would love to read your story. Click Here if you are interested in sharing your story with the readers of our blog.

In early November, I read an article on a gentleman in Australia who won a difficult court case.  After winning he is now entitled to having $60,000 in child support payments re-paid by the biological mother who originally claimed he was the father of her child.  This was after many years of paying child support for two children a paternity test had already determined were not biologically his.

Just like the issue surrounding requiring paternity testing at birth.  This issue brings up many conflicts from all sides of the situation.  Again, we face three different set of people’s rights and whose is the most important.  We have the “father’s” rights, the mother’s rights, and the child’s rights.  When a solution is determined by looking at one groups rights others are always going to be impacted.

There are many people concerned about the child in these cases.  The money owed to the “father” in each case is apparently returned to him by garnishing the mother’s wages.  To many this could only impact the child negatively.   I imagine that many people have the same thought I do, “What if the mother really believed that he was the father?”

Men’s rights groups have the obvious response to these concerns, which is that these men are entitled to justice.  Does justice always have to be determined in a dollar amount?  Yes, a dollar amount is how this started and maybe that is why it is how it is the counter judgment is determined.  I don’t know.

Just like with the mandatory paternity testing I know there is no right answer here.  I don’t know if I feel that one side’s argument is more legitimate then another’s.  I realize more and more that the laws written in these cases seem to only be written from one group’s perspective.  I find myself concerned about this process of lawmaking.

Anyone have thoughts here?  Is there something I don’t see that makes this type of law more universal?

Last week I wrote about the idea of mandatory paternity testing at birth.  I said I would talk about my feelings on the matter this week.  While trying to formulate my ideas on the matter I found the following news article for Channel 5 in Tennessee.

The article discusses a new bill in legislation in Tennessee.  This bill will require Paternity Tests before ANY man is added as the father on a birth certificate.  This is a change from the current law that states if a woman has been married for 300 days before the child was born a paternity test is not necessary.

In reading the article I hear two very passionate sides to this topic.  Men who believe their rights can be infringed upon when paternity is assumed at birth.  They worry that although a couple is married the assumption that it is a monogamous union is not a safe one.  Father’s rights groups are backing this bill with everything they have.  They believe it will help eliminate paternity fraud and possibly eliminate the acts of women that create these situations in the first place.

The other side of the argument is women’s rights groups who are up in arms about the idea that while some women have and will commit paternity fraud, that ALL women and couples should have to pay literally.  This legislation will change the current $7 fee for a birth certificate to a total of $172.  This increase is to pay for the paternity test, obviously. These women’s groups are offended that we should be governing everyone by assuming guilt on the mother’s side.

Myself, I feel extremely conflicted.  Dealing with paternity testing on a daily basis I can see both sides of this argument.  When I read articles like this I feel that people are taking things down to a very personal perspective and not from a wider view.  One side is upset about the amount of fraud occurs and the other is offended that we assume fraud is occurring so often that we have to assume it happens every time.

I feel both sides have a narrow view of a large issue.  I don’t know that I feel that the government should be so heavily involved in this process. I understand that many father’s feel betrayed by their partners after years of raising a child that is not theirs.  However, is it better to face that issue in what should be a joyous time of your child’s birth?  I don’t know.  I am not sure that anyone does.  I believe that the solution may not be to create new legislation around this massive issue, but to take a closer look at current legislation that does not seem to protect father’s rights after they find this child is not theirs biologically.

I am not a parent, and I cannot imagine what any of this must feel like to those of you who are.  I have strong feelings about the issue, but they are based in hypothetical scenarios that I may never face.  I do feel there are problems in the system of child support, custody, and the like.  I don’t feel it is the solution to add another faulty law to the mix.  And I don’t think anyone can tell me that these blanket answer laws work.  There are too many what ifs and scenarios that don’t fit the norm.  Like the guy who knows he is not the father but wants to raise this child as his own… then again what about the guy who doesn’t know he is about to be a father.  I know its complex.  That is why I don’t feel the answer lies in this mandatory paternity test solution.

If you live in Tennessee and want to speak your piece contact your state representative or senator or both.  Also, you may want to contact the representative who is sponsoring the bill.  His name is G.A Hardaway.  His email address is rep.ga.hardaway@legislature.state.tn.us.  I am not telling you which side of this issue to take.  But if you feel strongly about this issue I would recommend getting involved in the process.

If you live in another state and feel strongly about this legislation one way or the other you may wish to contact your state reps and let them know about this bill and express your feelings about similar bills in your state.

I am not sure that my perspective really takes one side of the issue or not.  I feel there is something broken in the system, but I don’t like this approach.  Anyway.  Hope everyone is having a wonderful week.

* I am editing this after researching additional details on this bill.  House bill 2964 in Tennessee was a part of legislation earlier this year.  The article I read initially regarding this legislation was more recent.  I guess I have learned a lesson about fact finding missions.  Anyway, I wanted everyone to know that this legislation did not pass, in fact from the details on the Tennessee Legislature website it did not get past committee hearings.  I apologize for the false alarm.

I have been reading many forums lately about the idea of requiring all fathers to be proven by DNA test at birth before being allowed on the birth certificate.  The opinions on the matter are varied and generally very vehement.

Everyone seems to have a story of someone who would have benefited from this testing at birth idea.  A husband who had a cheating spouse and he didn’t know about the affair until after the child was born and birth certificate signed.  These people believe it would be a way to avoid paternity fraud or the “wrong” people being allowed to spend time with a child.

There are fewer stories of those who knew they were not the father and signed the birth certificate, anyway. They wanted to be a father to these children and may not have been given the opportunity had a DNA test been required to add his name in the first place.

There are conspiracy theorists that the government would use the information collected from these DNA tests for their own benefit.  Although, no one can say exactly how they would do use this information.  I am not certain I believe this idea, but there is plenty of fear around it. Also, these same people bring up the question, “Who is going to pay for all this testing?”

Certainly we cannot expect every family to pay for a paternity test or can we?  Can we ask tax payers to pony up these fees?  Do we just add it to a list of procedures required in the birth of a child and therefore bill it to insurance agencies?  Where do the funds come from?

Many people, mostly women, take the idea of at birth paternity tests personally.  They are frustrated by the idea of assuming that the mother is lying from the get go.  Although, there were other women who took the stance of, “If you have nothing to fear, why get upset?” Both of these perspectives strike a chord in me, but I am trying not to approach this from a gendered perspective.

I, personally, do not believe that this is a good idea.  There are many reasons, and I will follow up with my reasons, after everyone else posts theirs.  Have a good one.

There are a few questions that come up about who pays for the paternity test or any other DNA test.  Some are fairly common and some are a little more obscure. Here are just a few.

Can I use my checking account to pay for the test?

Currently, we do accept credit/debit cards for payment or a money order.  We cannot process a check over the phone and we do not currently accept personal checks mailed with your DNA samples.

Will my insurance company pay for the testing?

Simplest answer for this question would be to ask your insurance company.  I have never heard of a health insurance company paying for this type of testing.  If they do it will likely be through a reimbursement program.

Can I use my flex spending account to pay for this testing?

My experience has been, no you cannot.  I have processed a few payments for customers that continually declined.  When I asked about the card the customers have mentioned it was a flex spending account.  When I researched our companies flex account DNA testing of any kind is not covered.  I would imagine it would be the same for any company.

If the results come back negative do I get my money back?

This question is often asked by the alleged father in a case.  Can anyone guess the answer?  No, we do not refund the money of your test if you are not the father.  If you would like to try and get the biological mother to pay you back for it that is something between you and her, IDENTIGENE will kindly stay out of that dispute.

As a government employee can I get them to pay for the DNA Test?

I honestly don’t know the answer to this question, but my guess is no.

These are a couple of most common payment questions we receive.  If you have a question that was not addressed here feel free to add it to our forum: http://www.dnatesting.com/dna-testing-forum or leave a comment on this blog.  Have a nice day!

At IDENTIGENE we take our customers’ privacy very seriously.  To some people it may seem that we may do this to the point of excess.  Most people do not require many aspects of our protection.  But the problem is we cannot pick and choose who needs a case password or who we can speak to based on one participant’s word over the phone or via email.  There have been many cases where someone, whether a participant or no, wanted information that was not theirs to ask for.

An recent example of what I am speaking of.   I answer all email sent through our online form.  I received an email from a gentleman who wanted more information about the status of his case.  I advised him I would have to first verify his case password.  He replied with his password.  However, when the reply came the header showed a different name, and this name was not listed on the case as a participant.

Our policies state that we cannot give any case information to anyone not listed on the case.  Because, I could not truly verify this gentleman’s identity I was not able to provide him with any case information.  I advised him that he is more than welcome to contact our client support group for more information.  Looking at this from his perspective I can see how this may be frustrating and inconvenient.

However, it is my job to look at this from all perspectives.  While the individual emailing could provide the password I could not verify that they had the right to any information pertaining to this case.  The biological mother in this case, who was tested, has the right to have her and her child’s privacy protected.

My concern in this particular case was that the alleged father’s significant other had located the password and thought that by emailing I would give her case info or even results.  So, for those who would like to email for case status.  Please be advised that if you want information about your case you will need to use your own email address and not that of a friend or significant other.

I hope that everyone reading this can understand our perspective.  Paternity Tests and the results that are produced from them are senstive to those being tested.  We must do everything we can to protect every person in these cases even if they do not want our protection.  I apologize if it makes anything inconvenient for anyone being tested, but to me it beats the alternative.