This story is a hopeful one. There are many children in America that want more than anything to have a relationship with their father. Best case scenario, once paternity is proven, the father stands up like Steve Jobs and embraces his responsibility emotionally and financially. While most children won’t suddenly have a multi-millionaire for a father, we believe having someone to share special memories and provide financial and emotional support is a huge step in the right direction for the welfare of a child.

Many fathers are willing to pay child support, trusting the assertion that they are the father of a child. States in the U.S. do not require a DNA paternity test before determining child support payments. In fact, most states have laws in place that impose time limits on submitting DNA evidence that would overturn a child support ruling. These laws have been the source of much debate. Many fathers don’t begin questioning paternity until years after the court determines child support payments. Can you imagine regularly donating to a charity that you later find out is stealing your money and not using it for what it was intended? I imagine this is what some fathers feel when they find out they may have been deceived by a woman that has known all along there could be a chance he is not the biological father.

Fathers have formed communities and support groups. Many can be found online. With divorce rates increasing and so many fathers living in non-paternity situations, there is a growing demand for peer support. There are also legal firms that specialize in father’s rights and paternity issues.

If you find yourself in this situation help is available. Just go to your favorite search engine and type in “fathers support group”.

How many people knew this but you? How could your partner allow this to happen? What to do from here? Wow! A lot to think about! Several researchers peg the non-paternity rate (the percent of men who think they are the biological father, but in reality are not) at 10% worldwide. So that means 1 in every 10 fathers is not really the biological father. An interesting statistic is that if a man wonders about his paternity and decides to take a paternity test, 29% of the time he will find his suspicions confirmed. This means that 3 of every 10 men who have a paternity doubt are not the biological father.

Source: http://www.jstor.org/stable/10.1086/504167

The message here is that men who question paternity should have a paternity test. The sooner the better. After the child is born, a simple cheek swab from an infant, along with the alleged father’s cheek swab, is all that is needed to answer this important question.

A few of the many reasons paternity tests are important:
1. Sense of Identity – a child knowing to whom they are biologically linked
2. Health History – hereditary factors influence preventative health measures
3. Financial support – many households require two incomes to keep up with the cost of living
4. Benefits – health insurance, social security and veteran benefits benefit biological children
5. Government Aid – Paternity allows parents to seek government assistance if they qualify.

How much money is necessary for meeting these simple requirements? Food alone can be $400 or more a month (for those of us who are NOT extreme couponers). Add in rent, thrift shop clothing, transportation to work, utilities, insurance–not to mention the childcare bill—and the monthly bills can seem overwhelming. At minimum wage, TWO paychecks are needed to make this formula work–and even then it could be a strain!

For a one-child household, the government considers them as living in “poverty” if income is less than $15,030 or $17,568 if there are two children. Remember…this is gross income. Establishing paternity gives a child a better chance of escaping the poverty point. Hopefully, the biological father will concede to paying child support or possibly the courts can order wage garnishment. In case you are wondering, the 2010 Census Bureau states that the average income of a two person family household is $72,751, while the average income of a single mother household is $32,031. It also stated that in 2010, there were 46.2 million people living in poverty.

Fathers are an important part of the family equation – not only for emotional support, love and guidance but for financial stability as well.

Just like the issue surrounding requiring paternity testing at birth.  This issue brings up many conflicts from all sides of the situation.  Again, we face three different set of people’s rights and whose is the most important.  We have the “father’s” rights, the mother’s rights, and the child’s rights.  When a solution is determined by looking at one groups rights others are always going to be impacted.

There are many people concerned about the child in these cases.  The money owed to the “father” in each case is apparently returned to him by garnishing the mother’s wages.  To many this could only impact the child negatively.   I imagine that many people have the same thought I do, “What if the mother really believed that he was the father?”

Men’s rights groups have the obvious response to these concerns, which is that these men are entitled to justice.  Does justice always have to be determined in a dollar amount?  Yes, a dollar amount is how this started and maybe that is why it is how it is the counter judgment is determined.  I don’t know.

Just like with the mandatory paternity testing I know there is no right answer here.  I don’t know if I feel that one side’s argument is more legitimate then another’s.  I realize more and more that the laws written in these cases seem to only be written from one group’s perspective.  I find myself concerned about this process of lawmaking.

Anyone have thoughts here?  Is there something I don’t see that makes this type of law more universal?

The article discusses a new bill in legislation in Tennessee.  This bill will require Paternity Tests before ANY man is added as the father on a birth certificate.  This is a change from the current law that states if a woman has been married for 300 days before the child was born a paternity test is not necessary.

In reading the article I hear two very passionate sides to this topic.  Men who believe their rights can be infringed upon when paternity is assumed at birth.  They worry that although a couple is married the assumption that it is a monogamous union is not a safe one.  Father’s rights groups are backing this bill with everything they have.  They believe it will help eliminate paternity fraud and possibly eliminate the acts of women that create these situations in the first place.

The other side of the argument is women’s rights groups who are up in arms about the idea that while some women have and will commit paternity fraud, that ALL women and couples should have to pay literally.  This legislation will change the current $7 fee for a birth certificate to a total of $172.  This increase is to pay for the paternity test, obviously. These women’s groups are offended that we should be governing everyone by assuming guilt on the mother’s side.

Myself, I feel extremely conflicted.  Dealing with paternity testing on a daily basis I can see both sides of this argument.  When I read articles like this I feel that people are taking things down to a very personal perspective and not from a wider view.  One side is upset about the amount of fraud occurs and the other is offended that we assume fraud is occurring so often that we have to assume it happens every time.

I feel both sides have a narrow view of a large issue.  I don’t know that I feel that the government should be so heavily involved in this process. I understand that many father’s feel betrayed by their partners after years of raising a child that is not theirs.  However, is it better to face that issue in what should be a joyous time of your child’s birth?  I don’t know.  I am not sure that anyone does.  I believe that the solution may not be to create new legislation around this massive issue, but to take a closer look at current legislation that does not seem to protect father’s rights after they find this child is not theirs biologically.

I am not a parent, and I cannot imagine what any of this must feel like to those of you who are.  I have strong feelings about the issue, but they are based in hypothetical scenarios that I may never face.  I do feel there are problems in the system of child support, custody, and the like.  I don’t feel it is the solution to add another faulty law to the mix.  And I don’t think anyone can tell me that these blanket answer laws work.  There are too many what ifs and scenarios that don’t fit the norm.  Like the guy who knows he is not the father but wants to raise this child as his own… then again what about the guy who doesn’t know he is about to be a father.  I know its complex.  That is why I don’t feel the answer lies in this mandatory paternity test solution.

If you live in Tennessee and want to speak your piece contact your state representative or senator or both.  Also, you may want to contact the representative who is sponsoring the bill.  His name is G.A Hardaway.  His email address is rep.ga.hardaway@legislature.state.tn.us.  I am not telling you which side of this issue to take.  But if you feel strongly about this issue I would recommend getting involved in the process.

If you live in another state and feel strongly about this legislation one way or the other you may wish to contact your state reps and let them know about this bill and express your feelings about similar bills in your state.

I am not sure that my perspective really takes one side of the issue or not.  I feel there is something broken in the system, but I don’t like this approach.  Anyway.  Hope everyone is having a wonderful week.

* I am editing this after researching additional details on this bill.  House bill 2964 in Tennessee was a part of legislation earlier this year.  The article I read initially regarding this legislation was more recent.  I guess I have learned a lesson about fact finding missions.  Anyway, I wanted everyone to know that this legislation did not pass, in fact from the details on the Tennessee Legislature website it did not get past committee hearings.  I apologize for the false alarm.

Everyone seems to have a story of someone who would have benefited from this testing at birth idea.  A husband who had a cheating spouse and he didn’t know about the affair until after the child was born and birth certificate signed.  These people believe it would be a way to avoid paternity fraud or the “wrong” people being allowed to spend time with a child.

There are fewer stories of those who knew they were not the father and signed the birth certificate, anyway. They wanted to be a father to these children and may not have been given the opportunity had a DNA test been required to add his name in the first place.

There are conspiracy theorists that the government would use the information collected from these DNA tests for their own benefit.  Although, no one can say exactly how they would do use this information.  I am not certain I believe this idea, but there is plenty of fear around it. Also, these same people bring up the question, “Who is going to pay for all this testing?”

Certainly we cannot expect every family to pay for a paternity test or can we?  Can we ask tax payers to pony up these fees?  Do we just add it to a list of procedures required in the birth of a child and therefore bill it to insurance agencies?  Where do the funds come from?

Many people, mostly women, take the idea of at birth paternity tests personally.  They are frustrated by the idea of assuming that the mother is lying from the get go.  Although, there were other women who took the stance of, “If you have nothing to fear, why get upset?” Both of these perspectives strike a chord in me, but I am trying not to approach this from a gendered perspective.

I, personally, do not believe that this is a good idea.  There are many reasons, and I will follow up with my reasons, after everyone else posts theirs.  Have a good one.