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No More Doubt, No More Questions...Just Water Under the Bridge.

I\'m Black, my wife is Asian, and our daughter (who is 8 months) does not look like she\'s got even an ounce of black hertitage associated with her. With that said, those who are reading this know where I am going. Yep, that is right... not sure this girl is mine.

I will admit that our daughter\'s skin tone is darker than my wife\'s, but only slightly darker. Overall, my daughter is still much lighter in complexion than myself. And our daughter\'s hair is very thin with slight curls. Given the slight curls and the slight tint in skin color, I was almost willing to convince myself that those were contributions from me. But then what little belief I was starting to develop, quickly got thrown out the window.

When my father-in-law (and mother-in-law) came to visit, I got to see our daughter next to him. And my father-in-law having a skin tone slightly darker than my wife\'s and identical to my daughter\'s, only threw away the idea of skin color coming from me out the window. But there is still the curls, right? Yeah well, during casual conversation, my wife would often compare our daughter\'s hair to that of my father-in-law when he had hair, claiming similar characteristics. So now that is contribution number two thrown out the window.

l, if that is not enough, I am constantly reminded by my wife how our daughter does not look like me. For instance, the very first night we had our daughter at home, I specifically remember my wife saying,\'\'I am sorry she does not look like you.\' And to this today, when we go out in public (be it a mall or restaurant), my wife, on occasion, will say something to the affect of, \'... you know people probably do not think she is yours\'. And on top of that, after showing pictures to a close co-worker of mine (who happens to be asian) has jokingly suggested that my daughter looks way more asian than black.

And... okay one more. And then when on vacation with my family, my wife went into a public restroom. My sisters and mom happened to already be in that restroom talking about something regarding our daughter. And once they saw my wife, they quickly stopped talking. So my wife conveyed that she (my wife) believes they were speaking about how they doubt that our daughter is mine. So by this time, I am really concerned. I am starting to feel like a fool.

Well, time passes, and the wife and I finished a photobook we were working on that contained photos and captions of our daughter with relatives. We then made copies for our families and sent them out. And I guess once my family received that book, it encouraged them to dust off photos of me when I was my daughter\'s age. Funny thing is, they shared these photos with me and my wife mainly because her (my daughter\'s) face looked close to identical to mine when I was the same age. Strange... but cool, because I was now re-developing confidence that this girl is mine. But then when I mentioned how that is so cool how she looks like me when I was her age, my wife would point out that we only share similar facial expressions. Okay, so here comes the doubt again. Why is my wife saying this? Does she know something I don\'t?

So given all this, it is no surprise that I turned to Identigene. After all, the last thing I want to do is be person that\'s been punked out after 18 years of raising a child who is not mine. So when googling Home DNA testing, I am sooooo grateful I came across Identigene. Who would have thought someone could discretely gain results without leaving a trail. Yep, that\'s right. I bought the kit at a drugstore with cash, went to post office to get a money order with cash, and sent off the swabs without anyone but myself knowing.

Well get this, I am so glad that I was able to do all of this discretely, because it spared me from having to be confrontational with the wife since it turns out that I AM the father of our daughter. And what is really strange is, it wasn\'t until I read the results line by line until the end that I felt so happy to have a daughter the I KNEW was mine. No more doubt, no more questions, no more concerns in the back of my head. It was truly a peace of mind. That same day that I got home from work, the first thing I did was pick up my daughter and hug her and play with her like I never did before. Now when I am with my daughter in public, I don\'t care what anyone thinks, because I know she is mine.

Looking back though, I believe my wife is happy to have a miniature of herself. And if that makes her happy, then, I am happy. However, in the process of doing so, I do not think she has stopped once to think how this has affected me. But again, because of Identigene, its really just water under the bridge... nothing more.

Thanx Identigene, M

M S.
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