Supporting a child that was not mine?

Here is my story. Back in 1998 my girlfriend of one month turned up pregnant. She told me the child was mine. She gave birth to a daughter later that year.

After being a Father to this child for a year and a half, the Mother (who I was no longer dating) told me that I was not the Father after all. She said the man she had been seeing prior to dating me was the Father. This explained why I had never been put on the birth certificate.

About three years went by. The Mother and child had moved to another state when all of a sudden I receive papers for me to pay child support for this child.

I talked with a lawyer about how I should handle this now that the Mother was saying that I was the Father. It was then that I found out that even though I was not listed on the birth certificate, because I had signed a Declaration of Paternity when the child was a few months old in order to get health insurance for her, I was now legally her Father whether biologically or not.

I cannot tell you how devastating this all was. Regardless, I did the right thing and began supporting this child. Even though I was doing this, I always wondered and felt different about her not knowing if she was really mine. I knew a paternity test wouldn't change my responsibility for this child but after nine years of not knowing, I needed that peace of mind.

I felt that I could move on with my relationship with her if I knew for sure whether she was biologically my daughter or whether I had adopted a child the day I signed that Declaration of Paternity.

My wife found your DNA test kit at Rite Aid and bought one. During our last visit to the child, we used the home DNA paternity test and were excited to finally learn the truth, she is biologically mine. We were happy and relieved and this dark cloud was finally lifted. I wish this home paternity test would have been available years ago so that I would not have missed out on so much. The results of the paternity test were quick and using the home DNA paternity test was easy.

Thanks so much for putting an end to the paternity question I had for almost 10 years.

Gary T.
Auburn, CA

tags: child support, immigration, legal test, peace of mind